After a Drunk Driving Death, the Power of Forgiveness Heals

Perhaps one of the most tragic drunk driving accidents in recent memory involved the simultaneous death of a mother and her two boys, aged 12 and 9.  The husband and father of the boys, Mr. Gary Weinstein, was not in the vehicle, and therefore survived the crash that wiped out his family.

The man responsible for the three deaths was driving a Yukon which slammed into the Honda accord occupied by Mr. Weinstein’s family.  He was traveling nearly double the speed limit and had bodily alcohol content more than 3 times the legal limit.  As a result of his reckless disregard for human life, he was sentenced to 19 – 30 years in prison.

At the time of his sentence, Mr. Wellinger, the man responsible for the three deaths, was housed in the Oakland County Jail.  Shortly after, he was transferred to the custody of the state prison system for assignment to the location where he would serve the balance of his sentence.

Perhaps the most remarkable chapter in this story of tragedy is that, despite this unthinkable act, Mr. Weinstein went and visited Mr. Wellinger at the Oakland County jail and did something most of us could not fathom – he forgave the man whose actions killed his family.

How can this be?  Under circumstances such as these, how is it humanly possible to forgive?  Perhaps in trying to understand this, a good place to start would be with Mr. Weinstein’s own words.  According to the Detroit Free Press, Mr. Weinstein said:

Being able to forgive, in my eyes, is at the core of what human beings are.

Most world religions teach about the spiritual power of forgiveness.  Psychologists and medical doctors also cite the psychological and health benefits to the act of forgiving.  All agree that forgiveness is primarily for the benefit of the person who is forgiving, not the person being forgiven.

According to Forgiveness Foundation, an organization with which Mr. Weinstein is active:

When we don’t deal with our blame, resentments and grudges, they fester, leading to poor relationships and depression or angry confrontations at best—vengeance and violence, at worst. Everyone involved is affected badly, sometimes for years. This does not need to happen.

When a death occurs it’s not just the victim’s family that might benefit from forgiveness.  Even when there is no death, a person charged and convicted of drunk driving feels guilty. The perpetrators themselves can often benefit from self-forgiving.

There is no doubt that forgiveness is easier said than done.  Yet the potential benefits are vast. Mr. Weinstein deserves to be commended, as he is truly a role model, perhaps not for what human beings are, but for what human beings can be.